Joyeux Anniversaire, Cannes!
On this day, in 1946, the first Cannes Film Festival opened.Back then they didn't have color, or black and white even. No, back then they had to enact the script…
Idiotic Movie Translations – “Casablanca”
So what we do is we take famous movie dialog, and we run it through Alta Vista's Babelfish translator to translate it to a foreign language, then we translate it…
Models – Too Thin? Too Long?
In London right now there is a lot of talk about how thin fashion models are and how very, very bad it is that they are so thin. I personally…
How To Make Art Museums Interactive
I love museums. Whom doesn’t? Museums are where we keep old stuff. It's very important to keep old stuff. if we don’t keep old stuff, how can we ever know…
Words Of Advice For Young People
Neal J. Romanek's Words of Advicefor Those Planning On Dying Before Age 21 - buy a watch, but look at it only when absolutely necessary. A pocket watch is an…
My Maurice Chevalier Impression
You know, I'm famous for more than just being a brilliant writer and great writer of fine writings. I don't mean to brag, but I'm also quite well-renowned for my…
Solstice Tips For Vampires
Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. There are more hours of daylight today than on any other day. This phenomenon is caused by the sun's…
Big Bird Flu
I hope I don't get smallpox.Or black pox. That would be the worst.Black pox is that variety of smallpox that spreads underneath your skin in gigantic black patches, then your…
10 Words Never Used By The Queen
Yesterday was Her Majesty The Queen's 103rd birthday."The Queen of what?" you ask."Why, the QUEEN!" I answer indignantly. "The QUEEN! The Queen of all of us! Queen Elizabeth II of…
Hanatō’s Cat Haikus, Pt. 4
Today, more astounding verse by the Haiku master Hanatō Fukui (1650 - 1730), from the new translation by Trini Savitch. Three days, no shaving. White cat rubs my drunken…